A Template for Scientific Press Releases and Science News Articles

Improbable Research

by Scott A. Sandford, Santa Clara, California
Jason P. Dworkin, Arnold, Maryland
Max P. Bernstein, Mountain View, California

Virtually everyone who works in a scientific field will ultimately have to deal, in one way or another, with the production
of a Press Release. The importance of Press Releases cannot be over-estimated since it is by their distribution (and the
distribution of the short science news articles that are generated from them by randomly scrambling their words) that the
majority of the public learn of current scientific progress. Not surprisingly, a great deal of energy, time, and resources
are spent each year in the production of these releases. Shortly after the start of a new year it occurred to us that this important task could be greatly simplified. We noted in a comprehensive survey of articles from 1983-2001 that 87.3% of the Press Releases and science news articles could be faithfully reproduced through the straightforward application of a set of simple standardized rules.

In hopes that it can be used to increase scientific efficiency, stimulate the American economy, and serve the general public,
we therefore present the Press Release Template.
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INSERT NEWSPAPER-LIKE TITLE HERE, PREFERABLY WITH A DOUBLE MEANING OR PUN

Scientists today announced that they are the first to successfully demonstrate SCIENTIFIC FINDING.

This has long been one of the holy grails of SCIENTIFIC FIELD. “This finding radically alters our understanding of the field, to say the least,” says FIRST AUTHOR, a SCIENTIFIC FIELDologist from INSTITUTION who led the research.

“We were stunned when we made the discovery. For a few minutes we just didn’t believe what we were seeing,” says FIRST
AUTHOR, “then SECOND AUTHOR (a student of FIRST AUTHOR) yelled ‘We’ve done it!’ and we started dancing around the LAB/OBSERVATORY/FIELD SITE. It was very exciting.”

INSERT LIGHT-HEARTED QUIP FROM FIRST AUTHOR, PREFERABLY BASED ON A PUN OR TWIST ON A
COMMON SAYING

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